Unimaginable...

I've always followed this case.. 

The first time I read I the newspaper, I thought, this is just an internal matters.. 

He will be reunited with his mom soon....

But it's been more than two years since she last saw him...

And it's been two years ago since he last kissed and hugged her...

2 days being away from my kids , unable to hold them, kiss them is such a heart breaking for me...

And I can't imagine the pain she has to go through all those seconds, ticking by her ears.

Her heart stopped every passing moments without him...

7th Dec., 2003

Putrajaya Hospital

It was the ultimate time in a mother's life..

giving birth to her pearl of life..

Bathing time is a joy for him...and also a still memory for her now...

A 'full of life' toddler... 

Experimenting new things in life....

Touching the sand and feeling them...

A froggy in the rain...

Lopaking experience in life...

Ummie was overjoyed having to watch him blowing his 5 candles with families around them.

They were showered with tonnes of love in Malaysia

An adorable boy in baju Melayu.

Hope his faith is guarded by Allah and he comes back as a Muslim soon...

Ferris Mokhtar van de Ven....

Your Ummie misses you so much and she's praying hard for your homecoming...

She's doing all she could to have you in her arms again..

“Banyak kenangan yang dilalui kami bersama yang tidak dapat dilupakan dan paling tidak dapat dikikis dari ingatan saya hingga masih terngiang-ngiang di telinga adalah jeritannya tidak mahu berpisah dengan saya ketika diambil oleh bapanya."

"i've been crying since the day after my son has been taken away, non of a second i feel happiness..i have punished and blamed myself for every second i could feel even just a piece of it! i am grieving for the lost...BUT, it isnt bcos i have regret tht i didnt give him my love or treated him bad, I cry bcos, I DONT WANT TO MISS ANY FRACTION SECONDS OF HIS GROWTH AND HE DESERVES MY LOVE, bcos, i am the mother...he has been with me since just a few second of the fetus started to grow in my womb..."

For my baby ~ Ferris Mokhtar van de Ven;

..for all my love, my heart and soul..all belong to you! This is how ummie love you - higher than a mountain, wider than an ocean ~

Elis,

A mother's love is the greatest in this world. 

And Allah loves you, undeniable...

Allah is listening to your prayers..

Insyaallah, He will send Ferris back to your arms, one day..soon..

* Trying to start and finish this post is a heart crushing for me... As I am a mother who would do everything and anything to being able to watch my children grow and to love them all passing moments...